Sins of the Knitter

I have confessions. Many, many confessions. I hear that they’re good for the soul, and anyway, they’ll get me out of working on the last couple of chapters of my book for a while. (The neverending novel of domesday, seriously. I will never finish this thing.)

Mortal Sin #1: Covetousness. I see so many beautiful patterns out there. I own so many lovely books. I want so many knit items. So I begin far too many projects at once. Currently on the needles are a jacket for me, a purse for my mother in law, a sweater for my son, a baby sweater for a gift, some washcloths for a friend, a lace shawl that I need to frog, and the second fingerless glove for my husband. Honestly, two, maybe three projects would make sense, but this is far too much. Each one just makes the others take longer. I’d be happier if I started and finished one or two projects at a time, but my covetous nature makes me want more, more, more!

Mortal Sin #2: Yarn Lust. I can sit and stare at my yarn cabinet for minutes on end, just basking in its reflected glory. I want to knit with all the pretty yarns in there! I want to knit with them now! But looking at them also makes me think of all the other pretty yarns I could buy! More, more, more! This seems to come full circle back to my covetous nature.

Mortal Sin #3: Laziness. Hmmm, that stitch doesn’t look quite right. It’s a little twisted. It’s in the middle of a big field of stockinette, and I didn’t notice it until now, two inches later. I don’t want to go back and fix that! Not now! Maybe no one will notice.

Mortal Sin #4: Flightiness. I’m having a great time knitting this piece. I can’t wait until it’s done! I can imagine giving it to the recipient now, and the look on her face when she gets it. You know, I can think of someone else who’d like a gift like this, only it would probably be better in blue for her. Yeah, blue. And maybe a slightly different pattern. I’ll just set this down and go look at the yarn cabinet to see if I have any blue. I do! Hey, that blue would be great twisted with that fuzzy brown cone upstairs. I wonder what weight they’d be combined. Maybe I should knit a swatch and find out! Gosh, there’s the mystery cone of mystery. I wonder what kind of yarn it is. I’m hungry. I think I’ll go eat something.

Mortal Sin #5: Knitting Nihilism. When I started this pattern, my skill levels were much lower and I thought this would be a challenge. But now I’m halfway through, and it’s a breeze. In fact, I’ve been trying out much more difficult stitches just for fun in my spare time. But I still need to finish this pattern. Ugh. I’m so bored. Knitting is meaningless. I believe in nossing. Ja, nossing.

Mortal Sin #6: Doubt. I question patterns obsessively, without trying them out. Usually, after several days of staring at a pattern, rereading it, telling myself that what they describe will never work, I finally give up and try it on the needles, and lo, for there is the exact shape they told me would emerge. It’s like black magic. I have no idea how it works, but when I trust in the pattern maker, all is well.

Mortal Sin #7: Yarn Snobbery. Back when I was but a wee new knitter, I ventured into the small, beautiful yarn shop tucked cozily downtown between a frame store and a vintage shop. It was glorious in there and then I went ahead and looked at the prices. Oh, sweet Bossy! I was never going to spend that much on mere yarn. I looked around, made note of the people there to help with knitting patterns, and planned to come back when I had problems. I felt very intimidated by the woman who sniffily explained to a customer that, “Unless you’re going to buy the good stuff, you might as well not knit at all!” I still don’t buy most of my yarns there, trusting instead to discount sellers on Ebay and the magic that is Elann and Knitpicks, but I, myself, have fallen prey to the seductive lure of Rowan, Debbie Bliss, and the feeling of silk, merino, and baby alpaca between the fingers. Red Heart? Bah!

I think seven deadly sins is enough for any sinner, really, so I’ll leave it there, though no doubt the depths of my knitting depravity can encompass so much more in the way of sin. Forgive me.

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